Your frustration is on the Rise
Are you feeling frustrated with a lack of motivation? What you most likely feel is normal and common for someone with ADHD; it’s most likely not the absence of motivation you’re feeling. It’s more the lack of action you’re feeling.
On the national library of Medicine’s website, a study done by several psychiatrists found that nine significant stimulus themes influenced action in people with ADHD. I will list them below, followed by a realistic example of how that might look in our daily lives.
These nine include:
(1) achieving a sense of togetherness, Which makes sense if you are someone who has a messy room but is constantly stressed about cleaning it.
(2) feeling competent; You tend to feel confident when you know more about something than your peers.
(3) fulfilling a need for variation; You like to switch up the layout of your room or possibly even feel the need to date different types of people
(4) gaining pleasure from applying effort to achieve a goal; When you FINALLY get something done, you feel as if there’s]’ no better feeling on earth. Like a drug
(5) valuing social reinforcement; You find pleasure in being “talked up by family or friends,” So you love days like your birthday or achievement celebrations
(6) desiring to be absorbed/forget problems; You want something to make your problems disappear or lose yourself in something that will allow you to ignore them.
(7) feeling free and independent; You avoid commitment in anything from relationships or contractual agreements.
(8) attaining material reinforcement; Having that new toy or piece of equipment feels so good
(9) enjoyment of bodily stimulation; You become addicted to things like substances, sex, or even masturbation.
You have a choice to make
I resonate with most of these points, and if you are anything like me, I understand that there are two sides to the coin; on one side, the very things that pull me in the wrong direction are also my keys to freedom, but on the other side, its not as simple as finding a specific type of motivation that strictly pushes me toward success.
Stop and Smell the Roses
Why would you feel frustrated with these points that motivate you? It’s likely that you are feeling the pull of these things in your life but aren’t entirely turning it into a push. What I mean by this is that you aren’t allowing these triggers to work for you; you are trying to stop them when what motivates you can’t necessarily be controlled, instead of taking out your frustration by leaving these things alone and trying to find something that will turn you in the right direction, look at what you have first because you might have your answer right in front of you.
You Have a Brain, Use it!
How do we change our way of thinking to see these things as an asset that can push us to success? In Allan Carr’s book how to control your drinking, he talks about how these impulses aren’t addictions; they are merely thoughts that you are dependent on these things. Pulling away means coming up with logical, sound reasons why it’s doing worse than good for you. We can apply this same thinking to what motivates us; if you feel mainly motivated by feeling free and independent, instead of allowing that to draw you from commitment, then start using that to drive you toward earned freedom and independence, instead of leaving a relationship because you feel “locked down” work for an opportunity to have some alone time, to gather your thoughts, come back, and implement your new-found mindset to what’s in front of you. Allowing you to feel free and independent within commitments you know are truly good for you. Often, people can flee from something good for them because of the thought of being locked in.
To conclude, if you notice that you are motivated by something pulling you from success, study it, and take time to realize that something is creating action within you. Embrace that, and form that into something that produces good action that pushes you to success.
